Showing posts with label sid haig. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sid haig. Show all posts

27 April 2015

Clownsploitation

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For me clowns have never been scary, just odd. For the horror genre, clowns are an easy fix, ready made monsters building increasingly ominous public relations with a dubious audience. Last year American Horror Story; Freakshow pulled clowns into the spotlight with the macabre Twisty. Jon Watts’ Clown has already kicked of 2015 with its graphic, but considered, remoulding of clown mythos, whilst the poster for Gil Kenan’s Poltergeist update is shameless clownsploitation. The remake of Stephen King’s IT has been announced and supposedly bogged down in a 6-month hunt for the new Pennywise. It’s the perfect time to take advantage of killer clowns, but why?

Ronald in 1963
Firstly, clowns are perfectly poised to embrace a darker reading, so it’s no surprise there’s been a flip in public opinion. The clown is granted certain rights to behave in a transgressive manner, his history of over-blown exaggeration, childish sentiment, and disturbing mood swings a socially alienating display. All of it performed through a disguise. As a race, we’re not overly comfortable with masks and makeup since they obscure the face, making it harder to read. In a clown’s case the make-up is meant to offset the behaviours and facial expressions, purposefully drawing attention to the conflict of emotions. Pair this with the clown’s specificity to children and it’s like instant-mix monstrosity. So I wonder, really, when were clowns ok?

I also wonder what the public reaction was to Ronald McDonald when he first appeared back in 1963. With his soda-cup nose and food-tray hat, he was arguably the first televised commercial clown- besides Bozo. He probably didn’t act as creepy as Burger King’s ‘Creepy King’ in the 2003-2011 ads, though. The famous Burger King adverts are a masterclass in how to make your brand as recognisable as possible for all the wrong reasons. In them, The King appears in passive aggressive silence to accost folks with food. Ronald never got up to this kind of nauseating eeriness, but it calls into question the idea of a mascot in general, especially a clown.

R. McDonald Patent
Though perhaps not purposefully eerie, Ronald is a thing of questionable origin. Clowning is a full performance, a thing meant to be respected and admired on many levels but it’s been robbed of its nuances. The make-up and outfit were originally exaggerated to be seen at the backs of large crowds and sound usually accompanied movement. It seems unsurprising that face-to face confrontation with this larger-than-life persona would become uncomfortable. But remove the clown from its home environment, strip away the many levels of performance, and you remove a dimension leaving the clown a 2D TV advert. Even the patented image of Ronald McDonald submitted in 1963 is startlingly eerie. Ronald didn’t ruin clowns, but the low-res 2D image of him might have.


Screen Clowns


Pennywise kicked off a whole generation of Clown-fear

Say what you like, but the clown is now a horror icon, tellingly earning a place in the climactic “revenge of horror” sequence from Cabin in the Woods. The horror genre pegged clowns’ potential for nightmarish stardom early on. Tobe Hooper’s classic 1982 film Poltergeist famously brought clown terror home in the form of that doll. The 1990 TV adaptation of IT seems to have cemented
the clown in the public conscious and become the killer clown. Tim Curry’s performance as Pennywise is arguably the perfect case study in the sub-genre because in actual fact the threat of IT is an amorphous otherworldly being who takes on the guise of whatever its victim fears most. Its default setting is Curry’s camp-as-Christmas loony, hinting that clown-fear is the common fear amongst the children. So even the most famous evil clown isn’t even a clown! It’s a thing that exploits the history of the clown to terrify or lure depending on its prey. Though, two years before IT visualised King’s Lovecraftian terror, Killer Klowns from Outer Space crafted a pop bubble-gum sci-fi adventure out of our relationship with clowns. Killer Klowns seems somewhat dumbfounded, citing them as space creatures in an attempt to point out just how abnormal they and their collective iconography really are.

Captain Spaulding
Indy horror flicks kept the beating heart of clown horror alive through the 90’s, until Rob Zombie’s debut feature House of a Thousand Corpses in 2003. In it, Sid Haig plays sadistic carnie Captain Spaulding, a deep-south House of Horrors host and member of a Manson-esque family of sadistic killers. An animal in or out of make-up, oddly likeable in his blatant insanity, terrifying in his brutality, Spaulding is a very contemporary kind of killer clown. In her essay for Horror After 
9/11, Linnie Blake cites Zombie’s creation as the embodiment of hillbilly horror; a kind of blue collar under-dog rising up to consume middle-America.

Zombie followed up this psychedelic cult jigsaw puzzle with his far superior horror road movie The Devil’s Rejects. In it, Spaulding’s anarchic behaviours seem born of a similar rage to those of The Joker in Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight, embodying a kind of post 9/11 self-consuming nihilism. The terrorist slant on Ledger’s Joker, along with the amplified psychosis and terrifying public displays of apathy, only helped to put stock behind our uneasy relationship with clowns. No scene better encompasses this unease, perhaps, than the film’s bank-heist opening. In it, Ledger’s Joker moves anonymously amongst a group of clown-masked robbers, only to orchestrate their deaths, and reveal himself as wearing even creepier clown make-up under the mask. The fear we have as an audience stems directly from the fear that even once the make-up is removed and the disguise is lifted, we are still left with a monster.
The Joker

2015 has seen the release of Watts’ Clown, an Eli Roth-produced monster flick with some surprisingly horrific moments of violence towards kids. The perpetrator? A loving father slowly transforming into a child-eating monster after donning a demon clown’s skin suit. Clown even goes back, Rare Exports style, to incept an ancient demonic origin for the clown costume and make the outfit a carrier of evil. Wisely the whole film plays off just how odd clown iconography is, very similarly to Killer Klowns from Outer Space, it’s just less interested in making us laugh. Exploiting a growing trend, Clown fulfils the promise of violence to children in some wholly gruesome ways.

It doesn’t matter how many clowns we see on the screen though, because we’ve already accepted the clown as an archetype of terror, like a scarecrow or a zombie or a vampire, the clown now has its own language and representations in the real world. The immersive world of zombie role play has guaranteed flesh-eating undead their place in the canon for years to come, but that doesn’t come close to the possible grounding of clown fear.

True Crime Clowns

Clowns got a bad rap, we got that down now. Putting deep-seated psychological discomfort towards disguises aside, and ignoring the haunting cinematic representation of clowns, there’s a much darker and frankly more unsettling idea at the heart of clown horror.


Gacy as Pogo
In the 70’s John Wayne Gacy murdered some 30 young men and buried their corpses under the crawl-space of his house. It’s a famous story now, the man-hunter who performed as a clown at children’s hospitals. Awkwardly, Gacy never wore his make-up whilst killing, but the public like to imagine he did because it would make more sense. In 2012 James Holmes stood up in the middle of a screening of The Dark Knight Rises and opened fire on the audience, killing 12 people. It was the largest shooting in Colorado history since the Columbine disaster of 1999. When the police apprehended Holmes, he had dyed orange hair and allegedly identified himself as The Joker.

Movies don’t make people kill. It’s impossible for a film to make a sound-minded person go out and murder people, but Holmes’ case does prove the allure of the clown’s anarchic side, or the willingness to dump transgressive behaviours on the character.

Here in the UK, operation Yewtree, the ongoing apprehension of unchallenged sex-offenders, is revealing something awful about the permissive persona of the entertainer. Jimmy Saville’s once glimmering public opinion poll has collapsed under the strain of his innumerable and graphic offences against children. His hair, cigar, and outfits now the costume of high-profile sex offender. Though it isn’t a direct feed into clown terror, it’s part and parcel of the public view towards entertainers in privileged positions. Saville was widely respected for years as a children’s entertainer, but his hospital visits have racked up more offences than Gacy’s ever did. It’s shaken the foundation of British opinion, and the numbers are still tallying.

Google creepy clown and a hundred pages of hear-say will flood the screen. Chicago 2008: a clown is seen all over town, approaching kids in play parks, standing on street corners, the news has a field day warning people about a man carrying balloons, he’s also driving a white mini-van. The event seems questionable; no one reports any crimes, just as they didn’t when it happened back in 1981 in Boston. Surely both are just resurgent memories of Gacy, acted out by fresh-faced newbies to their home city’s bloody history?


The Northampton Clown

The Northampton clown, an eerie but otherwise harmless character, popped up mid-2013 and officialised himself via Facebook on Friday 13th of September after months of standing on street corners creeping townsfolk out. Despite the hopes and dreams of a thousand horror fans, he certified his good-natured prank as simply that, a prank. Check out the Killer Clown on YouTube to see some wholly upsetting clown-related scares but know that 5 French teens were arrested for forming a weapon-wielding anti-clown brigade in the wake of those prank clown appearances. Now fear of clowns is inciting “vigilante justice”? Images spread via social networking do most of the work for the clown, our repertoire of horror iconography fires into gear along with that primordial distrust. Though social media cuts away the third engrossing dimension of clowning, it doesn’t help that people are actively feeding the fire of the “killer clown”.

The transformation from innocent entertainer to monster has come with years of clowning around in the horror genre and proximity to macabre crimes. Each event adds to a tapestry of references that make clowns a faster shorthand for chaos and deviant behaviour than anything else. Real life stories of clown horror have given grounding to our anxieties, but this repetitive exploitation of the clown has made it totally unknown to us and that’s the problem. When reduced to a visual, slapped on products, tweeted, and reblogged, the clown is more anonymous than ever before. On the cinema frontier, Clown seems destined for a franchise, The Return of the Killer Klowns from Outer Space is slated for 2016, and Cary Fakunaga’s IT will eventually find a Pennywise. The future of clown horror seems secure, flourishing even. The future of clowning however seems questionable; the craze of their suspected evil-doing a trans-national hoax spinning wildly and worryingly out of proportion.

SCOTT CLARK



Clown 2015




               
               

                

21 June 2013

Jack Hill's Foxy Brown / Spider Baby BluRay Review

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The fantastic Arrow Video has released 2 films by Jack Hill films Spider-Baby and Foxy Brown on blu-ray. Jack Hill has been by called “The Howard Hawks of exploitation filmmaking” by Quentin Tarantino. Jack Hill like many directors of his generation worked for Roger Corman in the 1960s he made such films for Roger as Pit Stop, The Big Doll House and the notorious The Terror (which Francis Ford Coppola directed bits of as well as Monte Hellman and even Jack Nicholson). Spider-Baby however was Jack Hill’s first real film but wasn’t released for years and was never properly released till the 80s/90s.

Spider-Baby is a rare slice of “California Gothic”, very few films are with only Psycho and some of Tim Burton’s films. The film is about these 3 children in puberty who are regressing the evolutionary ladder if you will; a backwards Darwinism if you will. They have a chauffeur Bruno played by Lon Chaney Jr. (the one who played The Wolf Man). The title Spider-Baby refers to Virginia because she is obsessed with Spider and hunts and bills bugs and her spider like movements. The film starts with them killing off an innocent postman. Bruno has mean able to keep the dark family secrets hidden all these years but when some cousins Emily and her brother Peter with their lawyer come it is all revealed over a grotesque dinner.

The film is a predecessor to something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which it’s depicted of inbred cannibalistic family even though the cannibalism is all implied. It’s a very strange film with a dinner scene reminiscent of the one in Eraserhead. It’s shot in glorious black and white, which really adds to the gothic weirdness of the whole thing. The film starts a hilarious parody of the Monster Mash sung by Lon Chaney. The film also has an early role for Sid Haig as one of the inbred kids. It has in recent years even been adapted into a musical.

Foxy Brown is a very different film to Spider-Baby. It’s a quintessential piece of Blaxploitation and it stars the queen of Blaxploitation Pam Grier as its title character. Jack Hill is known for many things but probably most for discovering Pam Grier with his film The Big Doll House (which like Lon Chaney sang the title song in that film). Pam’s star making role was in the classic Coffy that Jack Hill also directed.

Foxy Brown was originally meant to be a sequel to Coffy due to its surprise success but American-International Pictures at the last minute decided they didn’t want a sequel. The film is some ways is rewrite the Coffy. Pam Grier plays a foxy mama who seeks revenge on some criminals on what they did to her loved one; in Coffy it was her sister. Foxy Brown it’s her boyfriend who is witness protection (he has had cosmetic surgery) who is shot down by a drug syndicate. She poses as a prostitute to infiltrate the organization. She helps one of the prostitute from a life drugs and sexual exploitation. The rest of the film is all revenge themed set pieces including one of castrating.

The film as expecting is a total hoot from start to finish with Pam Grier killing everyone; she literally hides a gun into her Afro in the climax. It’s normal case the soundtrack for Blaxploitation films to have a great soundtrack and it’s certainly the case this time with music by Willie Hutch who also did the score for the pimpin’ classic The Mack. The film is certainly on par with its predecessor Coffy, it may not quite reach the dizzy heights of that film but it’s a blast. The film like Spider-Baby and Coffy also features a supporting role by Sid Haig who Jack Hill knew since his student days. Tarantino famously adapted the title for his masterpiece Jackie Brown that of course stars Pam Grier.

Arrow Video has put lots of love and care into these releases which a wealth of bonus material with a doc on Blaxploitation, a doc on Spider Baby, interviews with Sid Haig, commentaries by Jack Hil on both films, one of Jack Hill’s short films. Arrow is rapidly becoming one of the best home video companies in the UK and look out for more by them in recent months and maybe some day they can release Coffy.

★★★★

Ian Schultz


Spiderbaby (1968)
Rating: 18
BluRay Release Date: 24th June 2013(UK)
DirectorJack Hill
CastLon Chaney Jr.Carol Ohmart,Quinn K. Redeker,Sid Haig
Buy Spider BabyBlu-ray




Foxy Brown (1974)
Rating: 18
BluRay Release Date: 24th June 2013(UK)
DirectorJack Hill
Cast:  Pam Grier
Buy Foxy Brown: Blu-ray / SteelBook [Blu-ray]


8 June 2013

Jack Hill's Spider Baby Will Be The Maddest Blu-Ray You'll Ever Own, Coming July

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Arrow Video is pleased to confirm the UK DVD and Worldwide Blu-ray premiere of Jack Hill’s landmark debut feature film, SPIDER BABY, on Monday June 17th.

Finally available on Blu-ray for the very first time anywhere in the world, this stunning version of “the maddest story ever told” features a beautifully restored high-definition transfer, a process supervised and approved by Jack Hill himself.

Starring cult superstar Sid Haig (House Of 1000 Corpses) alongside Lon Chaney Jr. (The Wolf Man, Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein) in one of his last ever on-screen roles, SPIDER BABY tells the unfathomable story of three orphaned siblings who suffer from "Merrye Syndrome" – a condition which causes them to mentally, socially, and physically regress backwards down the evolutionary ladder!

The super-deluxe dual DVD & Blu-ray edition comes LOADED with special features and bonus material, even including Hill’s 30-minute short film “The Host”. Made in 1960 and starring Sid Haig in his first ever leading role, “The Host” sees a fugitive gangster attempt to set-free a group of Spanish settlers who are held under the powers of evil.

Other extras include audio commentary with Jack Hill and Sid Haig, three new featurettes, an alternate opening sequence, extended scenes, original trailer, behind-the-scenes imagery and an in-depth collector’s booklet. A complete list of special features and full details follow the synopsis.

Keeping with what is a now a fan-favoured tradition of Arrow Video restorations, SPIDER BABY will come complete with a reversible sleeve, featuring the original 1968 artwork and a stunning new design by Graham ‘Evil Dead’ Humphries.

Synopsis

The credits dub this “the maddest story ever told”, a promise that’s well on the way to being fulfilled in the opening scene alone, when Virginia traps and kills a hapless deliveryman in her makeshift web. She’s one of three siblings who suffer from a unique genetic disorder that causes them to regress back to childhood, while retaining the physical strength and sexual maturity of adults.

Lon Chaney Jr gave one of his most memorable late performances as Bruno, their guardian and protector, who has managed to cover up their crimes until two distant relatives lay claim to their house. When they insist on moving in, Bruno has to cross his fingers and hope that the ‘children’ behave towards their new guests...

This was the first solo feature by Jack Hill (Coffy, Switchblade Sisters), whom Quentin Tarantino dubbed “the Howard Hawks of exploitation filmmaking”, and it remains one of his wildest and weirdest.

The director-approved special features included on the dual edition release of SPIDER BABY are as follows:

- High Definition Blu-ray (1080p) and Standard Definition DVD presentation of the main feature, available in the UK for the very first time.
- High Definition transfer of the feature approved by director Jack Hill.
- English SDH subtitles for deaf and hearing impaired.
- Audio commentary featuring Jack Hill and star Sid Haig.
- Panel discussion from The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences “FILM-TO-FILM” Festival, recorded September 2012, featuring Jack Hill and stars Quinn K. Redeker and Beverly Washburn.
- “The Hatching of Spider Baby” – Interviews with Jack Hill, Sid Haig, star Mary Mitchel, fan Joe Dante and more on the making of the film.
- “Spider Stravinsky: The Cinema Sounds of Ronald Stein” – The composer of ‘The Terror’ and ‘Attack of the 50 Foot Woman’ among others is remembered by Harlene Stein, Jack Hill, American Cinematheque’s Chris D. and others.
- “The Merrye House Revisited” – Jack Hill revisits the original house that was used as the main location in the film.
- Alternate opening title sequence.
- Extended scene.
- Original Trailer.
- Gallery of behind-the-scenes images.
- The Host (1960) – Jack Hill’s early short film featuring Sid Haig in his first starring role.
- Reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Graham ‘Evil Dead’ Humpreys.
- Collector’s booklet featuring writing on the film by artist and writer Stephen R. Bissette, and an extensive article re-printed from FilmFax: The Magazine of Unusual Film and Television featuring interviews with the cast and crew, illustrated with original stills and artwork.

Buy: Spider Baby On Blu-ray

28 May 2013

The One Hit Chick Squad Foxy Brown Finally Getting Her Blu Ray Release!

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She's back to do a job on the mob and finally give fans what they want Blu-Ray version of her film and Arrow Video is pleased to confirm the highly anticipated Blu-ray &Steelbook release of Jack Hill’s landmark Blaxsploitation classic FOXY BROWN on Monday 24th June.

Finally available on Blu-ray for the very first time anywhere in the world, this stunning version of FOXY BROWN features a beautifully restored high-definition transfer, the super-deluxe edition comes approved by Jack Hill himself.

A true innovator of America’s exploitation genre, Arrow will also release another of his trademark films, Spider Baby, on Blu-ray in the coming weeks.

The super-deluxe package, which is available both as a standard Blu-ray and as a limited edition Blu-ray steelbook, is LOADED with special features and bonus material.(full details below trailer)

Featuring audio commentary with Jack Hill, three new and exclusive featurettes, a gallery of behind-the-scenes photos and publicity images, original Foxy Brown theatrical trailer (as part of a comprehensive Jack Hill trailer reel) and an in-depth collector’s booklet featuring new writing on the film by Blaxploitation expert Josiah Howard and an interview with Pam Grier by Calum Waddell.

Keeping with what is a now a fan-favoured tradition of Arrow Video restorations, FOXY BROWN will come complete with a reversible sleeve, featuring the original 1974 artwork and a stunning new illustration from The Red Dress.

Quentin Tarantino is a fully-fledged member of the Foxy Brown fan club. He counts Jack Hill as one of his favourite American film directors and biggest influences. Tarantino’s 1997 film "Jackie Brown" pays homage to both Jack Hill and Foxy Brown, and features Pam Grier in the lead role (“Jackie” is a reference to Jack Hill, and “Brown” is a reference to Foxy Brown).

Synopsis

When Foxy Brown’s undercover-agent boyfriend is gunned down on the orders of evil drug kingpins, she stops at nothing to exact a thrillingly brutal revenge. This is one of the all-time great Blaxploitation films, pulling out all the stops at a time long before anyone had thought of political correctness.
After linking her boyfriend's murder to a so-called "modelling agency", Foxy poses as a prostitute to infiltrate the company, saving fellow black women from a life of drugs and sexual exploitation in the process.
Pam Grier was given the role of a lifetime as the street-smart yet intensely sexy Foxy, modelling a stupendously varied range of Seventies threads while righteously kicking villainous white butt at every opportunity.

With an incredible supporting cast, a suitably funkadelic soundtrack and just the right balance of sex and violence, Foxy Brown is still, undisputedly, the meanest chick in town.



The director-approved Special Features included on the deluxe editions of FOXY BROWN are as follows:

- Restored High Definition presentation (1080p), on Blu-ray for the first time in the world!
- Optional English SDH subtitles for the deaf and hard of hearing.
- Original Uncompressed PCM Mono 2.0 Audio.
- Audio commentary with director Jack Hill.
- "From Black and White to Blaxploitation" – Actor Sid Haig speaks about his long and influential friendship with Jack Hill.
- "A Not So Minor Influence" – An Interview with Bob Minor, the first African-American member of the Stuntman’s Association, and co-star of Foxy Brown.
- "Back to Black" – Legendary actors Fred "The Hammer" Williamson (Black Caesar) and Austin Stoker (Sheba Baby, Assault on Precinct 13), alongside Rosanne Katon (Ebony, Ivory, and Jade) and film scholar Howard S. Berger speak about the enduring popularity of the Blaxploitation film.
- Photo gallery of behind-the-scenes and publicity images.
- Original Theatrical Trailer.
- Trailer Reel – Trailers for all the major works by Jack Hill including Foxy Brown, Coffy and Switchblade Sisters.
- Reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by The Red Dress.
- Collector’s booklet featuring new writing on the film by Josiah Howard, author of Blaxploitation Cinema: The Essential Reference Guide, a new interview with Pam Grier by Jack Hill biographer Calum Waddell, illustrated with original archive stills and posters.

Pre-Order-Buy Foxy Brown: Blu-ray / SteelBook [Blu-ray]





12 March 2013

The Lords Are Coming , Rob Zombie's The Lords Of Salem Coming To UK April

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It left Frightfesters baffled  at this years Film 4 Glasgow Frightfest and next month you will get your chance to see Rob Zombie's most ambitious film to date The Lords Of Salem is coming to UK&Ireland.

Rob Zombie’s most highly anticipated shocker to date – a brilliantly envisioned and haunting tale of witchcraft and Satanism.Staring Sherri Moon Zombie (director's wife) as a former drug user, Heidi is now clean and works as a rock DJ at the local radio station along with fellow DJs, Herman Whitey Salvador and Herman Jackson. Following one of their regular evening shows, Heidi receives a square wooden box containing a vinyl record, the only indication as to its origin is a note proclaiming “A gift from the Lords”. Assuming it is merely a PR stunt by an ambitious band, Heidi gives the record a spin and immediately begins to experience bizarre flashbacks to a past, long-forgotten trauma triggered by the haunting sounds contained on the record.

A huge departure from his previous movies, The Lords Of Salem is without a doubt Rob Zombie’s most ambitious and accomplished work to date and firmly establishes him as a unique and truly gifted filmmaker who has finally come into his own. A chilling, atmospheric piece that slowly works its way under the viewer’s skin, the film has an almost European feel to it and owes more to Roman Polanski, Dario Argento and Ken Russell than to the American “grindhouse” cinema one would most associate with Zombie. Of course, this being Rob Zombie, classic horror movie references abound and fans will be delighted to notice nods to the likes of  Rosemary’s Baby, The Shining, The Sentinel, The Devil Rides Out, John Carpenter’s Prince Of Darkness and Macbeth (the Polanski adaptation), amongst others. A killer cast comprised of many genre legends, stunning cinematography by Brandon Trost, an awesome score by guitarist John 5 and songs by The Velvet Underground, Rush, Rob Zombie, Rick James and Manfred Mann’s Earth Band all combine to make this one of the most visually and aurally impressive horror movies in recent years.

Rob Zombie certainly wears his influences on his sleeve  for this one which alot of horrorphiles will appreciate what he has created but like anything ambitious or experimental it will always get it's doubters. We don't have a official UK trailer just yet, for now check out the current trailer, above is the film's latest poster and a chance to pre=order your copy of the film on DVD.

The Lords of Salem thanks to Momentum Pictures we will get a limited release here in  UK&Ireland on 26th April before been released on DVD 29th April. The film also stars Bruce Davison, Ken Foree, Dee Wallace, Patricia Quinn, Maria Conchita Alonso, Meg Foster, Michael Berryman, Sid Haig, Udo Kier, and Lisa Marie.



Buy / Pre-order :The Lords of Salem On DVD



 

13 August 2012

Creature DVD Review

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★★☆☆☆

Fred Andrew’s new schlocker Creature (2011) features Mehad Brooks, Serinda Swan, Dillon Casey, Lauren Schneider, Aaron Hill and Amanda Fuller, as six young people out for a weekend of fun in the Louisiana swamps.  Unfortunately they have chosen the wrong place to vacation and after Chopper (Sid Haig) a local gas station owner tells them the legend of a crocodile man who feeds on unwary travelers, the kids decide to search out the creature for themselves with predictably gruesome results.

There was something innocent about the age of video nasties - those sleazy frightfests which normally featured nubile teenagers taking part in illicit sex at some lakeside retreat of their parent’s empty house and coming to a sticky and usually unnecessarily gory end as a result.  Generally, though not always, the reason behind the grisly retribution meted out on the unfortunate victims was because the perpetrator had been unjustly wronged and as a result their killing spree could at least be semi-understood.  Scream (1996), that pastiche of all things Jason and Freddy soon put an end to any of these films having justification behind the atrocities around which they built their premises.  Now all the killers were out for was a good time.

Which unfortunately brings us slap up to date with films like Creature, today’s equivalent of those teenage slasher films from the 1980’s.  I won’t give too much away behind what limited plot line there is but lets just say that though the monster - who looks like a cross between Creature from the Black Lagoon’s (1954) namesake and the sharp toothed monster from Alligator (1980) - has, to an extent, an excuse for his actions, those who are behind encouraging him in his bloody exploits are just good old, inbred sickos in the best deep south American fashion.

Is there anything in the film’s favor?  Well, it starts reasonably well - and I don’t mean the pre-credit Jaws (1975) ‘rip-off‘ (pardon the pun) - with the gorgeous looking all-American twenty somethings in their 4x4 heading off for their dirty weekend.  However any hope there might have been soon dies like most of the cast once they stop at the first sign of civilisation (and that word is used loosely) so the girls can “go pee”!  Even if you’d never seen House 1000 Corpses (2003), one look at its star Sid Haig who appears here as the redneck proprietor of the gas station where the friends stop to stretch their legs, and you would get off this highway to hell and head straight back to civilisation.  Of course there wouldn’t be a story if these kids did anything half so sensible, so they walk straight into every kind of horror film cliche you can think of from searching out old deserted log cabins and camping in the woods to sex in a forest clearing - err, didn’t they ever see The Evil Dead (1981) or Cabin in the Woods (2011)?  Throw in some obligatory torture porn and a smattering of girl on girl action and this unfortunate film has something for everyone.

Anyway enough already.  Despite a couple or reasonable twists, by the closing credits the film and what’s left of its characters have got lost in a swamp of farfetchedness from which none escape with any degree of dignity.

Cleaver Patterson

Rating: 18 (UK)
DVD Release Date: 13th August 2012
Directed By: Fred Andrews
Cast: Mehcad Brooks, Serinda Swan , Daniel Bernhardt, Sid Haig