Bloodstorm DVD Review

★★☆☆☆

Oh dear me.  I had such high hopes for Bloodstorm (2012), the new horror release from director Joseph J Lawrence starring Dominique Swain, Jake Busey, Josh Allen and Christopher Karl Johnson .  How could you go wrong with a heady, politically incorrect concoction of zombies and Nazis? Well, very, if this woeful outing is anything to go by.

In the wastes of Antarctica a group of scientists make an alarming discovery, deep beneath the ice and snow of this frozen landmass. Sixty seven years ago World War II did not end as the world was led to believe. Instead of the Nazi defeat, a platoon of storm troopers led by the infamous Dr Josef Mengele (Johnson) escaped with a prized cargo. In the interceding years Mengele has been abducting anyone with the misfortune to stumble across the Nazi's underground stronghold, and use them to continue his obscene human experiments.

With the bodies of various members of the latest unfortunates Mengele hopes to complete his ultimate experiment which, along with the army of zombie soldiers, will take him one step closer to realising his lifelong dream of establishing a Fourth Reich and his ultimate goal of world domination.

Can the young scientists stop the evil doctor and find their way back to civilisation? Will Mengele and his rotting troops be able to succeed where so many zombie Natzis have failed before? Does anyone really care?

Zombies and Nazis go together like Dr Frankenstein and his monster. Over the years in horror cinema the two have been brought together in unholy union on countless occasions - from the Peter Cushing chiller Shockwaves (1977) to the recent Norwegian comedy / horror Dead Snow (2009) - with varying degrees of success.

However Bloodstorm really does plumb new depths of tastelessness, both in subject matter and in your face gore. There is still something offensive when Nazis are used as a subject of entertainment like they are here - whether they should be seen in this context is still a contentious issue for many. However here it's even worse as one of the subjects used in the storyline are the infamous experiments carried out by Mengele. You then have the no holds barred gore which includes an abrupt take on a face lift where a man's old skin is literally peeled away, whilst one of the female scientists is subjected to a toe-curling abortion which makes the viewer wince for all the wrong reasons.

On the plus side the young cast enter into the proceedings with gusto, and their enthusiasm helps go some way to dispelling the utter preposterousness of the film as a whole. The production values, from a snow bound Antarctica and the shadowy Nazi lair beneath to the sinister gas-masked zombies and Mengele's gory amateur experiments, are all surprisingly well done, though they do little to soften the film's underlying air of grubbiness.

Alarm bells should have sounded when I discovered that the film had previously been marketed under the much catchier (ok, I'm kidding here) title of Nazis at the Centre of the Earth. There's always something suspect when a distributor suddenly changes a film's title at the last moment - what are they trying to hide? Well watch this and you'll soon see - I guess I really have no-one to blame but myself for agreeing to view it in the first place.

Cleaver Patterson

Rating: 18
Release Date: 06 August 2012 (UK)
Directed By: Joseph J. Lawson
Cast: Dominique Swain, Jake Busey , Josh Allen

Win Monster Brawl UK Premiere Tickets

Witness the ultimate “smackdown” event of all time as eight of the world’s most feared and famous monsters enter the ring to go head-to-head in a grotesque and hilarious fight to the death (or, in several cases, the “un-death”). It can only be the Monster Brawl (Momentum Pictures)…blasting onto DVD 20th August 2012.
On offer to some insanely lucky winners is a pair of tickets (per winner) to the premiere, yes PREMIERE, of Monster Brawl at the Prince Charles Cinema in Leicester Square on Wednesday 15th August introduced by the legendary horror writer Kim Newman. Fancy dress encouraged…but not mandatory! Doors open at 6pm with the film starting at 7pm.

We have 2 pairs of tickets for this event up for grabs and to win those tickets is to email us your name, address and in the email subject mater type "Monster Brawl". The email to send your entry is cinehouseuk@gmail.com Deadline for this comp is August 8th, 2012 (12noon).

Terms and Conditions

• This prize is non-transferable.
• No cash alternatives apply.
• UK  entries only, who can travel to and from London easily.
• No accommodation or transport are included, tickets only
  The Peoples Movies, Cinehouse and Momentum Pictures have the right to alter, delay or cancel this competition without any notice
• The competition is not opened to employees, family, friends of The Peoples Movies, Cinehouse,Momentum Pictures employees
• This competition is promoted on behalf of Momentum Pictures
• The Prize is to win tickets for London Monster Brawl premiere, 2 pairs
• To enter this competition you must send in your answer, name, address only, Deadline August 8th, 2012 (1200hrs)
• Will only accept entries sent to the correct email cinehouseuk@gmail.com, any other entry via any other email will be void.
• automated entries are not allowed and will be disqualified, which could result you been banned.
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A Simple Life (Tao Jie) Review

★★★☆☆

For me, realism is an ugly word.

Mostly, this is because commenting on a lack of ‘realism’ is like a get-out clause for people who want to slam fantastical fiction, but are unable to think of a more valid criticism. Instead of commenting on narrative flow, story structure or character development, they choose to poo-poo aspects of a story that actually reveal creative ambition. Unreality is not a negative trait. Hell, it’s almost the opposite. I know about reality. I have to live here. In fact so do you, so tell me: is it really all that fun?

For those of you shaking your heads right now, prepare to be vindicated, because A Simple Life, today’s review topic, is a very realistic movie. It is also decidedly not fun.

A Simple Life is a film about a relationship. Roger (Andy Lau) is a film producer, living in Hong Kong while working in mainland China. Ah Tao (Deannie Yip) is Roger’s family’s maid. The family itself has emigrated to the USA, leaving Ah Tao only Roger to care for. Until, that is, one night, when Roger returns to his house to find Ah Tao unconscious, having suffered a stroke. She recovers, but is severely weakened, so Roger takes it on himself to look after her for a change.

This might at first sound like a bonding-through-adversity tale, but that’s not it at all. Ah Tao and Roger are already bonded before the film starts, after a long lifetime shared. Ah Tao apparently spoiled the young Roger rotten, going behind his parents’ back to get him film magazines and soft drinks, and their mutual affection has endured since then. They aren’t bosom buddies exactly. The difference in their lifestyles and social status makes some awkwardness inevitable. But nevertheless, these two are family, and at its core, A Simple Life is about watching that familial bond in action.

Admittedly, this does make for a vaguely compelling experience. Sometimes the film is a hair’s breadth from dullness, and I found myself staring at the DVD player timer, wondering how much more to go. But at other times, the film proves charming, and even funny. Lau is good with deadpan comedy, and the affection on display in some of his interactions with Ah Tao might win a smile from a stone.

However it is Yip’s performance that is more noticeably impressive. Her role calls, not only for emotional flexibility, but for physical artifice as well. It is a challenge, but one Yip proves well able to meet. Emotionally, I felt she was at her best acting against Fuli Wang as Roger’s mother. The awkwardness of their encounters, as Ah Tao’s illness brings down the social barriers between them, was palpable. Yip also achieves much on the physical side. In particular, the degeneration of her walk into a terrible, paralytic shuffle, really drives home the impact of Ah Tao’s stroke.

But despite all this, once the credits rolled, I found A Simple Life left little impression on me. The sheer lack of drama leaves it an annoyingly weightless film.

This is not to say I wish, oh, that about halfway through A Simple Life, Ah Tao suddenly has to fight ninjas or something (though that would have been interesting). Many films have a similar structure to A Simple Life, eschewing the straightforward conflicts of the average yarn. Rampart, that cop movie with Woody Harrelson in it, is a good, earlier-this-year example. What set that apart from A Simple Life though, was its sense of purpose. Rampart may not have had a plot per-se, but David Brown’s headlong dive towards self-destruction gives the film dramatic propulsion, something A Simple Life lacks.

See, Ah Tao may be well-acted, but as a character, she has no purpose. She is at the centre of the film, but she is never moving towards anything. Her life, in essence, is waiting: waiting to have that inevitable second stroke, and eventually, to die. And because this is what she is doing, the audience is stuck waiting too. Waiting and waiting for these miserable things to happen to her.

Not fun right?

Well yes, and yet it also happens to be depressingly accurate. At Ah Tao’s stage of health, life tends to become just one jerky, downward slide towards death. That’s not to say it’s devoid of fun or interesting things, or that it’s impossible to have goals at that stage. It’s just a conclusion once ignorable, is now plainly visible. And Ah Tao, in the face of that conclusion, and her physical fragility, essentially just gives up. The result is A Simple Life presents the experience of extreme old age as nothing more than a wait for the reaper.

This is realistic. But it makes for an experience I cannot recommend.

Adam Brodie

Rating:12A
UK Release Date: 3rd August 2012
Directed By:Ann Hui
Cast: Andy Lau, Deannie Yip , Lawrence Ah Mon

Delicacy (La délicatesse) DVD Review

★★★☆☆

Quality romantic comedies (French or otherwise), are an elusive beast. The phrase ‘chick flick’ is now synonymous with poor quality filmmaking. Often trite, sickly and poorly written the romantic comedy is a genre that has suffered from some of the laziest efforts of recent years. The majority of the energy is put into casting big names in an ‘if you build it they will come’ method of attracting audiences. Adapted from his own award winning novel, David Foenkino and his brother Stephane direct.

Nathalie (Audrey Tatou - Amelie, The Da Vinci Code) finds her idyllic life shattered when her husband is killed in a traffic accident. Following the loss of her soul mate she cuts herself off emotionally and channels all of her energy into her career. She spends a good deal of time fending off the advances of her boss while forming an attraction to Swedish colleague Markus (Francois Damien – Heartbreaker). He’s certainly not the typical love interest; gap toothed, ungainly, shy and socially awkward. Those closest to Nathalie make it clear that she could do much better.

Tatou has made a career out of romantic comedies, with extremely varied results. Delicacy keeps you off balance by switching between genuinely funny and touching moments to those of loss and despondency. Though very well acted by both Tatou and Damien, the lack of genuine chemistry between the two characters is evident. There is no real sense that Nathalie needs Markus to fulfill her and complete her recovery from losing her husband.

Delicacy is charming love story that benefits from the lack of Hollywood-style gloss and two engaging lead performances.

Vikki Myerscough

Rating: 15
Release Date: 6th August, 2012 (UK&Ireland)
Director: David Foenkinos, Stéphane Foenkinos
Cast: Audrey Tautou, François Damiens and Bruno Todeschini

Fancy winning this film on DVD? We have 5 copies of the film up for grabs at The People's Movies, enter here!

Hawks And Sparrows (Uccellacci e uccellini) - Masters Of Cinema Review

★★★★☆

Hawks and Sparrows is another in Masters of Cinema’s continuing series of Pasolini re-issues with more to come later in the year. The film stars Toto who not know to most people outside of Italy know who he is but he was the huge star in Italy and was sort of the Italian Chaplin. The fim co-stars Pasolini’s collaborator and lover Ninetto Davoli.

The film’s story is a rather strange crossbred of a fairy tale and mid 60s leftist filmmaking. It’s about these 2 characters who meet a talking Marxist crow. The crow tells them the story of these 2 old Franciscan Monks (naturally played by Ninetto and Toto) and they preach to the Hawks and Sparrows and try to convert them to Christianity. They rest of the film consist of them wandering having episodic adventures includes meeting beautiful girls, they get chased away by angry farmers and dancing teenagers.

The film touches on Life, Religion, Birth, Sex, Aging and Death. It’s all done with humour and a touch of almost Monty Python silliness. The talking crow talks almost like thrift store Godard revolutionary speak but The Crow symbolize death eventually. The film features a wonderful Ennio Morricone score, which features Domenico Modugno singing the opening credits in an ironic fashion. The score itself is almost a Leone score which is unsurprising cause it was done around the same time as his scores for Leone.

The film is an extremely enjoyable if very strange piece of Bunuelian esq comedy even though the humour at time is very broad. The film seems to be considered a lesser work of Pasolini’s even though he considered it the only film of his that he wasn’t disappointed with. A knowledge of mid 60s Italian politics may help for some but for a person like me who has no knowledge it stills works as a very enjoyable film.

Ian Schultz

Rating: PG
UK Re-release Date: July 2012
Directed By: Pier Paolo Pasolini
Cast: Totò, Ninetto Davoli , Femi Benussi
Buy:Hawks and Sparrows [Masters of Cinema] On DVD [1966]

'The Paranormal Incident' DVD Review

★☆☆☆☆

The problem with the spate of handheld, found-footage ghost films that have arrived post Paranormal Activity is that they are hounded by the success and pitch-perfect horror of that film.  Still a bad film is a bad film, and unfortunately that’s what The Paranormal Incident is. Since Paranormal Activity has already nailed the format, films centred on hauntings and found footage have to do something different or they just fade into monotony, The Paranormal Incident doesn’t even try.

                The film follows a group of students, half who believe in the paranormal, half who don’t, as they spend a night at the apparently haunted Odenbrook Sanatorium.  Armed with motion sensors, high frequency sound equipment, and plenty of cameras, the team are out to prove or disprove the existence of ghosts. The story is relayed post-events with the one survivor being shown the footage by a police officer who suspects he murdered his friends.

                Initially the set-up intrigues, swapping from hospital room to four days prior builds a certain interest, but the flatness of the characters, who we don’t get any time to know, and the stunted nature of the dialogue slowly pulls the viewer past interested and straight into disappointed. Once inside the sanatorium events trundle along at a predictable pace, and the cuts back to the hospital actually fracture the mood, halting any sustained scare. Another major issue with the film that keeps it trapped under mediocre is its complete reliance on jump-scares and sudden noises, rather than making the effort to construct any sort of sustained menace or apprehension. What the audience needs is more reason to be scared of the Odenbrook rather than a brief intro, some kid’s drawings, and found footage of the cheesy variety. Eventually the film spirals into a murky mess of disappearances and manic camera shaking which leaves the viewer completely nonplussed as to the fate of the characters. The final ten minutes reaches for something more, alluding to a story beyond the film, but it seems like a childish copy of the X-Files and it’s this that leaves the viewer with a bad taste.

                The Paranormal Incident relies on recycled uninspired horror stock, features some truly woeful plot devices, and the acting of its entire cast is not overly convincing. If more time had been spent letting us get to know the characters then we would have cared for their strife, likewise if more subtle and original scare-tactics had been employed from the start of the film then we might have actually hid behind our hands.

Scott  Clark

Rating:15
UK Release Date:23 July 2012
Directed by: Matthew Bolton
Cast: Amanda Barton, Keith Compton , Thomas Downey
Buy:Paranormal Incident On DVD

               

                

New Trailer for A Night in the Woods

For those who enjoy a slice of paranoia horror, Vertigo films (that's the folks that brought us 2010’s epic handheld creature feature: Monsters) have just released a creepy new trailer for their upcoming flick ANight in the Woods. The film looks to set to be the British Blair Witch: a creepy legend in an isolated wilderness, a triad of people keeping secrets from each other, and a lot of screaming in the dark. Hopefully this minimalist piece will pack the same punch Monsters did, working with a smaller more intimate number of characters and revealing little of the threat.  But there’s always the risk that the hand-held sub-genre will overload itself with too many like-minded works, and burn out its appeal. Still, A Night in the Woods promises scares aplenty and hopefully a stand-out addition to the collection.


A Night In The Woods will be released in UK cinemas September 7th.

Watch the trailer here:

On what is intended to be a fun camping trip to investigate and to chill in the atmosphere of the legendary haunted past of Dartmoor’s Wistman’s Woods, Brody, his girlfriend Kerry and her cousin Leo very soon find themselves mysteriously ill at ease both with their surroundings and their companions. Bad moods and minor disagreements rapidly lead to feelings of severe paranoia, sexual tension, fear and, eventually, violence between the three friends, a situation that worsens as the evening draws in. At first, they suspect the conflicts are simply the result of being thrown together in the ancient, eerie surroundings, but as night closes upon them each begins to wonder if darker forces are at work.

The Land That Time Forgot DVD Review

★★★1/2☆

The Land That Time Forgot (TLTTF) is a movie I wish I had seen 14 years ago.

It is my belief that the dinosaur phase is an essential part of the lifecycle of the human male. All boys need a point in their life where dinosaurs are not just cool, but the be all and end all of existence. If you have not at one point run around a playground, pretending to jump on your prey and stab them with your giant sickle-clawed feet, well you have missed out. It’s awesome.

And the kid who did that would have gone mad for TLTTF.

TLTTF takes place in the year 1915 and begins (brilliantly enough) with the sinking of the Lusitania by a German U-Boat. There are few survivors: amongst the passengers only Bowen Tyler (Doug McClure) and Lisa Clayton (Susan Penhaligon) escape death. They soon rendezvous with the remnants of the crew, led by Captain Bradley (Keith Barron). When the U-Boat surfaces to take on air, these few lead an assault on it, and manage to commandeer it. Unfortunately, the chaos caused by a battle of wits with the German Captain Von Schoenvorts (John McEnery), casts them adrift. But then they make a momentous discovery: Caprona, a mysterious continent dismissed by the world at large as a myth.

And that’s enough chatter. Back to the dinosaurs.

I have yet to decide whether the special effects of TLTTF are brilliantly awful, or just awful, but they are definitely the most distinctive thing about the film. Static model pterodactyls on strings let the side down and Tyler’s fight against a plesiosaur descends into insane self-parody, when the actor starts fighting what seems to be a sock puppet with teeth. However these are the low points: most of the actual models aren’t necessarily great, but they aren’t bad either.

Honestly, I would take iffy practical effects over bad CGI anyday. See, in theatre, props are often used to represent reality, rather than mimic it. We recognise what is being represented, and in response, our minds fill in the realism. I believe I had a similar response to TLTTF’s practical effects. The upshot is that, even though the effects of TLTTF are dodgy even at their best, I still found suspension of disbelief possible, and so remained engaged.

In fact, I found the whole film quite engaging. Edgar Rice Burroughs (on whose source material the film is based) knows how to write a ripping yarn, and the film expertly captures that pre-War/age of exploration sensibility. It’s all about honourable men being all chivalrous and whatnot, struggling manfully to survive in an alien land, while behaving in an (admittedly) uncomfortably imperialist manner. The whole scenario has this optimistic self-confidence to it, sweeping you up in its willingness to explore, understand and tackle this wilderness head on by Jove!

It helps of course that the main characters are likeable. Both Tyler and Von Schoenvorts are chivalrous men, principled without being fanatics. Tyler is also a caring fellow: he is violent when he has to be, but his dislike of violence is plain to see. McClure proves very capable in playing such a straightforwardly good man. McEnery too gives a good showing, crafting a surface of military discipline, which on occasion recedes, to reveal a companionable knight with an inquiring mind.

The action is also well done. Though the spectacle of the dinosaurs is, as mentioned, not without its flaws, the occasional man-on-man brawls are executed with energy, though not much style. Better are the sequences shot from within the submarine, where the unsure lighting and cramped conditions helps to manufacture some truly nailbiting tension.

The film is not flawless. None of the supporting cast gets anywhere near the development of Tyler and Von Schoenvorts, which is particularly problematic in the case of Clayton. She basically becomes the love interest, by virtue of being the only woman in the film. Though the scientific mystery of the island is solved, the idea is not particularly well explored, and the simplicity of the narrative prevents it from having true dramatic impact. But the film is nonetheless enjoyable. And frankly, young me probably wouldn’t have cared much about any of those things. TLTTF is a solid story, with dinosaurs. That’s all he would have needed to hear.

Adam Brodie

Rating:PG
UK DVD Release: 30th July 2012
Directed by: Kevin Connor
Cast: Doug McClure, John McEnery , Susan Penhaligon
Buy:The Land That Time Forgot On DVD [1975]

Pier Paolo Pasolini’s Oedipus Rex To Get UK Masters Of Cinema September Release

Pier Paolo Pasolini’s OEDIPUS REX [EDIPO RE] is to be released in the UK in a Dual Format (DVD & Blu-ray) edition as part of Eureka Entertainment’s MASTERS OF CINEMA Series on 24 September 2012. DVD edition also available! The release on Blu-Ray will mark the film's debut on the format anywhere is the world and the long successful relationship Eureka Entertainment has with the director's popular filmography with the Golden Lion nominated film (1967 Venice Film Festival) joining Accatone, Hawks And Sparrows, Pigsty, Gospel According To Matthew, RoGoPag.

Three years after The Gospel According to Matthew, Pier Paolo Pasolini resumed his series of classical adaptations with a savage, highly personal take on Sophocles' ancient Greek tragedy Oedipus Rex [Edipo Re]. As his first colour feature, Oedipus Rex makes brilliant use of wildly alternating Moroccan landscapes to transpose collective myth into a particular vision that is at once tender, sensual, and wholly unsparing.

The film is divided into three sections set in different eras. The opening takes place in 1920s Italy, and recounts a birth that echoes that of the director himself, the product of a beautiful bourgeoise's affair with a military officer. The mid section depicts a time "outside of history" – it is here that the myth of Oedipus (portrayed by Franco Citti of Accattone and Coppola's The Godfather), one of patricide and incest, plays out opposite the young man's mother/lover (Silvana Mangano). An epilogue shot on the streets of present-day Bologna finds Oedipus playing his flute for a bustling citizenry.

With its kinetic handheld camerawork and strikingly primeval costumes, Pasolini's film rattles its art-genre framework in the enduring quest to exorcise repressive emotional forces. The Masters of Cinema Series is proud to present Pier Paolo Pasolini's Oedipus Rex for the very first time on Blu-ray, in a Dual Format (Blu-ray + DVD) edition, released on 24 September 2012. DVD edition also available!

SPECIAL EDITION FEATURES:

• Gorgeous new HD restoration of the film in its original aspect ratio, in 1080p on the Blu-ray

• Newly translated optional English subtitles

• Original Italian theatrical trailer

• 28-page booklet featuring vintage writing by Pasolini, excerpts from an interview with the director by Oswald Stack about the film, and rare archival imagery

Available to pre-order from:

Amazon (Dual Format Edition) http://amzn.to/IOW9OL (DVD Edition) http://amzn.to/N6xZhA

HMV (Dual Format Edition) http://tidd.ly/488c9e4b

Play (Dual Format Edition) http://tidd.ly/ab22de13

The Hut (Dual Format Edition) http://tidd.ly/7975983a  


 

Warlords Of The Atlantis DVD Review

★★☆☆☆

“Warlords of Atlantis” is a pre-Star Wars Z sci-fi/fantasy film from the most famous director/actor collaborators of the genre Doug McClure and Kevin Connor and it’s there 3rd and last. It was also called “Warlords of the Deep” in some territories. You may recognize the name Doug McClure, Matt Groening was inspired by Doug for “The Simpsons” character Troy McClure.

“Warlords of Atlantis” is a bad 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea rip-off, which consists of a rag tag team of scientists/explorers who discover an ancient world under the sea. They meet these MARTIANS who live under the sea and also upsetting them they are taken capture and must find a way out of their predicament. They obviously escape somehow even though the diving bell they came down with has a hollow bottom. It magically doesn’t flood with water, explain that. Oh and the cat somehow lives…

The film is a truly awful but amusing piece of pre-Star Wars sci-fi/fantasy filmmaking with awful performances from everyone. However it does feature John Ratzenberger (known for his role on “Cheers”) who looks suspiciously like the actor who played the Replicant at the beginning of “Blade Runner” who says “I’ll Tell you about my mother” and until I checked IMDb I though it was that actor. It’s nice to see a film, which cheesy matte paintings that I wish more films now would use instead of CGI. The film’s lack of any sensible science really screws it up but it’s mildly entertainment for the film’s brisk running time.

Ian Schultz

Rating:PG
UK DVD Release: 30th July 2012
Directed By: Kevin Connor
Cast: Doug McClure, Peter Gilmore , Shane Rimmer
Buy:Warlords of Atlantis On DVD [1978]