IRISH FILM INSTITUTE HORRORTHON 2015: THE DEVIL'S WOODS. 2015. AN IRISH HORROR FILM WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY ANTHONY WHITE. PRODUCED BY ANTHONY WHITE AND STEPHEN CROMWELL. STARRING STEPHEN CROMWELL, CAOIMHE CASSIDY, DANIEL MAHONY AND DANIELLE KEANEY. REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©
A film that begins with a violent rape usually grabs your attention from the get-go. My attention was certainly held by THE DEVIL'S WOODS from start to finish, but not always for lofty, highbrow reasons, more of which later.
The director Anthony White was present at the world premier of this home-grown horror film at the Irish Film Institute on Eustace Street. He seems like a lovely young fella. He told us that his film only cost him eight hundred euros to make, which is absolutely incredible. Hollywood movies usually cost billions to make and some are barely worth the entrance fee. This guy made a perfectly presentable film on less than a grand. There's surely a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.
Mr. White seemed to have brought a load of friends with him too, cast and crew and the like, and so the sold-out screening was lively and fun and, as we Irish say, great craic altogether. What's more, the bar was still open when the film ended, which appeared to bring much happiness to many of the patrons.
The film, which could quite easily go by the alternative name of 'THAT YOUNG ONE THERE HAS A LOVELY ARSE,' tells the story of four typically Oirish young people in their twenties who go camping in some gorgeous Oirish woods complete with ruined castles and spooky, abandoned old houses and whatnot. So far, so good, right? Wrong. Dead wrong...
Unfortunately for Keith, Jennifer, Jay and Katie, the woods they've chosen to camp in are infested- and I do mean infested- with the ghosts of the long-disbanded Hellfire Club members and serial killers from different iconic horror movies. The quartet, whose painfully Oirish dialogue was at times too strained and predictable for my liking, are separately chased and terrorised by numerous would-be killers.
These include- intentionally or otherwise!- the locals from DELIVERANCE (or FATHER TED or THE ORDEAL, if you prefer), a rapist in a hoody, the guy in the rain slicker from I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, Leatherface from THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and the islanders in the animal masks from the superb British horror film, THE WICKER MAN. Add in a dash of Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees (someone behind me even muttered TERMINATOR...?) and you've got yourself a nice little cinematic tribute to the horror genre.
It got a bit confusing at times, and I could probably be heard asking the guy beside me things like: Is that the guy from the beginning, the one with the hoody? Which murderer is this now? Who are this lot, then? Are these the ones from the pub or what? Annoying stuff like that, stuff to which, incidentally, he had no more clues than I did.
The woods are stunning and they were beautifully shot. There's a nice pleasing musical score too, but the real star of the film was surely the backside on Jennifer, the good-looking brunette with the mop of gorgeous tawny hair and that arse squeezed into tight, off-white leggings and filmed from every conceivable angle throughout the film. Come on, you camera-men (or women) who shot this film, you must have known that that's what you were doing...!
Anyway, whether its star billing was intentional (it so was!) or otherwise, I totally rooted for Jenny's Lovely Arse as it wobbled and jiggled its curvaceous way through the tangly woods, up the spiral stairs in the old abandoned house and straight into the welcoming arms of the cast from THE WICKER MAN.
Mark my words, that arse will go far in the movie business. It deserves a credit all of its own and one day, it'll climb a podium all by itself and collect its award for Best Arse In An Independent Horror Film. No offence, Girl Who Played Jennifer. You were the best and most watchable thing
about the film and I'm sure you're a lovely person too. I'd quite like to be your friend, actually.
I was less keen on the portrayal of Irish men as coke-snorting, pill-popping, spotty boring morons who keep their sweat-soaked woolly hats on to make the Beast With Two Backs. Overall, though, THE DEVIL'S WOODS is a terrific fun watch and I'd definitely go to see a film directed by Anthony White again. He has a future in horror movies for sure. He might even be The Next Big Thing...
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based performance poet, novelist, film blogger, sex blogger and short story writer. She has given more than 200 performances of her comedy sex-and-relationship poems in different venues around Dublin, including The Irish Writers' Centre, The International Bar, Toners' Pub (Ireland's Most Literary Pub), the Ha'penny Inn, Le Dernier Paradis at the Trinity Inn and The Strokestown Poetry Festival.
Her articles, short stories and poems have appeared in The Metro-Herald newspaper, Ireland's Big Issues magazine, The Irish Daily Star, The Irish Daily Sun and The Boyne Berries literary journal. In August 2014, she won the ONE LOVELY BLOG award for her (lovely!) horror film review blog. She is addicted to buying books and has been known to bring home rain-washed tomes she finds on the street and give them a home. In 2003, she was invited to be a guest on Niall Boylan's 98FM late-night radio talk show purely on the basis of having a 'sexy voice.'
She is the proud possessor of a pair of unfeasibly large bosoms. They have given her- and the people around her- infinite pleasure over the years. She adores the horror genre in all its forms and will swap you anything you like for Hammer Horror or JAWS memorabilia. She would also be a great person to chat to about the differences between the Director's Cut and the Theatrical Cut of The Wicker Man. You can contact her at:
http://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com
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