Showing posts with label sandra harris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sandra harris. Show all posts

20 August 2018

ALTITUDE FILMS PRESENTS: 'FANGED UP.' (2017) A T'RIFFIC BRITISH HORROR COMEDY REVIEWED BY SANDRA HARRIS.

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FANGED UP. (2017) DIRECTED BY CHRISTIAN JAMES. WRITTEN BY NICK NEVERN, DANIEL O'REILLY AND DAN PALMER. STARRING DANIEL O'REILLY, DANIELLE HAROLD, STU BENNETT, VAS BLACKWOOD, LAUREN SOCHA, EWEN MACINTOSH, SUE GRAHAM, STEPHEN MARCUS AND STEPHEN BERKOFF.
REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

Shifty: 'I'm gay.'
Jimmy: 'What, in 'ere? You must be like a kid in a candy shop in 'ere!'
Shifty: 'Not really. I don't find child molesters, rapists and murderers attractive.'

Jimmy: 'Wanna bite of me apple?'
Katie: 'I'd rather pop your cherry...!'

'You guys aren't prisoners. You're breakfast, lunch... and dinner...'

This English comedy horror film is a bit of a hoot. While it's not exactly lining up to be the next CITIZEN KANE, it's still good gory fun and anyway, it never promises to be the next CITIZEN KANE. I suggest, therefore, that we forget all about CITIZEN KANE and its many dazzling attributes for now and concentrate on FANGED UP, a jolly nifty little film in its own right.

It's the story of a complete and utter twat-with-a-heart called Jimmy Ragsdale, a self-styled Jack The Lad who ends up banged up (or should that be 'fanged up...?') for the weekend after being involved in a hoo-ha at a nightclub, a hoo-ha which he himself causes, lol.

He's up before the beak (the magistrate) on Monday morning but, for the weekend, he's stuck in the hellish Stokeville Prison. (STOKER-ville would have been better, I wonder why they didn't do that?) Here, he meets the strange cast of characters that people the fearsome jail.

Jimmy, aka Spaghetti Dick (don't ask!), is put in a cell with gigantic Russian Mafia hit-man Victor, who shows him the ropes as he's- Jimmy- a newbie to prison life. Victor's advice re staying safe in the nick is not exactly new advice. Single out the biggest, toughest-looking inmate in the canteen and punch him good and hard in the kisser. We've all heard this before, haven't we?

Jimmy's attempt to follow Victor's advice goes horribly right and he makes a friend for life in the big black muscle-man Shifty, who has a soft spot for hedgehogs. He wants to save 'em. Aw, how sweet. Shifty, Victor and Jimmy are now good mates, prison bezzies who'll stick together through thick and thin. That's good, because you need friends when you're in the nick, even if you're only there for the weekend.

Jimmy is flabbergasted when he discovers that his beautiful blonde ex-girlfriend Katie Makepeace (what a lovely girly name!) is here in Stokeville Prison too, working as the resident doctor. She looks lovely in her white-coat-and-stethoscope combo.

It all ended disastrously between the two of them so Katie's not exactly 'frilled,' (pronounced as the Londoners pronounce it!) to see the randy Jimmy, who's always trying to- how to put this delicately- 'get some.' She might be glad of him before the movie's out, though. I mean for the moral support now, not for the sex, lol. Curb your filthy minds, you lot.

Katie is secretly working undercover to find out what happened to the previous doctor who worked in the prison. Apparently, this Dr. Wallace fella just disappeared into thin air, and doctors don't do that normally. Except on the days they have the old golf, that is. Katie, and now Jimmy as well, whom she takes into her confidence, also wonder why inmates who are invited to Governor Payne's office after dinner, supposedly for a 'sorbet,' never return.

And why do all the inmates, without exception and Jimmy included, have the same blood type and no next-of-kin whatsoever, so that no-one will miss them if they suddenly do a Dr. Wallace? Ms. Renfield the warden looks like she's been dug up and some of the guards and prisoners are going around with staring eyes and fangs with blood dripping down their stubbly chins.

It looks to Jimmy and Katie that there might be an outbreak of vampirism taking place in Stokeville Prison (no shit, Sherlock!) and that the situation might be coming to some sort of a head. A mysterious cloaked figure by the name of Reeves agrees with them and the intrepid quintet- Jimmy, Katie, Victor, Shifty and now Reeves- set off in some trepidation to get to the nub of things.

The writing is very funny and clever in places and the friend with whom I watched the film was thrilled with the reference to Katie's 'Harry Potter' glasses and also the numerous references to Pokemon, even some obscure Pokemon which convinced her that the writers are great fans of
Satoshi Tajiri's extremely lucrative little creations.

Jimmy himself is the funniest character. Beneath his Jack The Lad exterior is a lonely virgin (yes, virgin, lol!) who'd love to find a real lasting love someday, preferably with the gorgeous Katie for whom, it would appear, he's still holding a teeny-weeny torchy-worchy, lol.

There might just be time for love after they sort out the vampires that are marauding through the prison, determined to feast on the weak and turn the strong into vampires themselves. There just might, might might be time for love. That's if the rather butch and terrifying Ms. Renfield and her boss, the eccentric and vampyric Governor Payne, don't get to Jimmy and Katie first, and it's a big 'if...'

Buckets of blood are spilled in this gory romp that doesn't take itself too seriously. Jimmy, Katie, Victor and Shifty are all very likeable characters and we care about what happens to them. That's very important in a film, but some directors seem to forget about it and give us characters that we wouldn't like if it was International Love Day and you got a hamper of fancy crap for each one you stick an 'I wuv you' sticker on.

The film-makers obviously love their horror, including but not limited to the UNIVERSAl Big Three, Dracula, Frankenstein and presumably the dear old Wolfman as well. I invested in Jimmy and Katie and the lads emotionally and I reaped the rewards. Hopefully you guys will too. (PS, these are spiritual and emotional rewards I'm talking about, by the way, lads, not a cash prize...!)

FANGED UP is out now on DIGITAL HD and DVD courtesy of ALTITUDE FILMS.

ABOUT ALTITUDE FILMS:

Formed by OPTIMUM RELEASING founder Will Clarke in 2012, the ALTITUDE Film Entertainment team embodies the creative passion of British film through their work encompassing production, finance, international sales and UK distribution. 

Working with both existing and emerging talent, their diverse recent releases include Academy Award Best Picture winner MOONLIGHT, BLACK PANTHER director Ryan Coogler's debut FRUITVALE STATION, and magical anime fantasy MARY AND THE WITCH'S FLOWER.


AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger, poet and book-and-movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens' fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra's books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

 You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

http://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com