15 May 2016

SCREAM PARK. (2015) REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS.


SCREAM PARK. (2015) DIRECTED BY CARY HILL. STARRING WENDY WYGANT, STEVE RUDZINSKI AND HELLRAISER'S DOUG BRADLEY. REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

This is a slasher movie that follows in the very best tradition of slasher movies. I wouldn't have been at all surprised to see FRIDAY THE 13TH's Jason Voorhees, complete with hockey mask and massive knife, popping in to join the shenanigans or HALLOWEEN's Michael Myers dropping by for a cup of tea and a nice decapitation or two. It's just that kind of film.

The story is set in an amusement park, but it's an amusement park with a difference. All the rides and attractions are horror-themed. It reminded me of the books by children's horror writer R.L. Stine (the Stephen King of kids!) in which ghosties and ghoulies run amok at a similar place called HORRORLAND.

No kids in SCREAM PARK though, just a bunch of irresponsible, drunk horny teens (is there any other kind...?) and a couple of brutal murderers in masks who are killing people like it's going out of fashion for reasons to which the viewer doesn't become privy till near the end. It's certainly a sound basis for a slasher film and I wholeheartedly approve, for what it's worth. So many places to hide in a theme park. You could have a field day with those dark corridors and cubby-holes.

Our park isn't actually called SCREAM PARK, ironically enough. It's called FRIGHT LAND and it's about to close its gates forever because it's not really doing any business. It's giving its owner, Mr. Hyde, played by good old Pinhead himself (Doug Bradley), no little cause for concern as he wonders how to pull the punters back into the park in a spectacular way. The reason he gives us for people no longer going to theme-parks for their entertainment is spot-on, by the way.

Anyway, on the night in question, the mostly teenaged staff of the park are having a little after-hours booze-up on the premises to say goodbye to the place. The uptight young manager is a little wary about having under-aged High Schoolers chugging-a-lug in the workplace but hey, you can't stop dopey teens in a horror movie from getting drunk and making the beast with two backs...!

Unbeknownst (What a great word! Is it still in use?) to the teens and their manager, a couple of masked thugs are stalking the park and bumping off any unaccompanied teens dumb enough to wander around on their own after saying even dumber shit like: 'I'll be right back...!' Ha! As if anyone who ever said this in a horror movie ever came right back. Came right back, my ass. Why, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that...

Have y'all ever seen deep-fried titties...? No? Well, y'all won't see any in this film, that's for sure, but you will see a gal with great big boobies having her head shoved in a deep-fat fryer, which is nearly the same thing. It's done in a manner reminiscent of the way that Michael Myers, ever the do-er of good turns in the community, turns the heat right up on the sexy nurse in the hospital hot-tub in one of the HALLOWEEN movies. Good show, Michael old chap, jolly good show...!

That's the only murder I'm going to be specific about. I surely don't want to spoil your fun. Let's just say that the film is soaked, literally soaked in blood. It's got horrible murders coming out of its ears and every single victim displays the most entertaining gusto and enthusiasm about being scalped(!), disembowelled, fried alive, hanged, decapitated and chopped into appetising little bits.

Every time I say something like 'This is the bloodiest film I've ever seen,' another film comes along that's even bloodier. Today, SCREAM PARK is that film. You'll be slipping and sliding on intestines from start to finish so if blood and guts and peoples' disgusting inside bits is your thing then oh boy, did you just get lucky...!

My favourite characters are Henry, the grumpy hard-ass black security guard that you just know is gonna make it safely all the way to the end of the movie(!), and dem nice big purdy titties what I done told you about earlier. They sure are purdy, real purdy. Hey, I'm a woman, so it's okay for me to comment on another woman's goodies. In a man, yeah, sure, it'd be creepy but I'm female so it's all good. Dontcha just love a nice double standard...?

SCREAM PARK is out on DVD and Blu-Ray right now courtesy of LEFT FILMS. If you don't
want to be left (do you see what I did there...?) out of the most fun you can have with your guts hanging out and trailing alongside you on the ground, I advise you to buy it...!

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens' fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra's books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

 You can contact Sandra at:


http://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com







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