1 July 2016

FRIGHTFEST PRESENTS: CURTAIN. (2015) REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS.




FRIGHTFEST PRESENTS: CURTAIN. (2015) DIRECTED BY JARON HENRIE-MCCREA. STARRING DANNI SMITH, TIM LUEKE, MARTIN MONAHAN, RICK ZAHN AND PRESTON LAWRENCE. REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

Bathrooms are where we're at our most vulnerable really, when you think about it. We're either all wet and nekkid in the tub or shower, half blind without our glasses or contacts and deafened from the sound of the running water, or we're sat on the bog with our most delicate parts vulnerable to attack from anything that has half a mind to climb unseen up our toilet.

Snakes, alligators, giant spiders, a zombie hand, you name it, when we're on the throne we can't prevent it from reaching up and grabbing willy-nilly at our naughty bits. I still peep down the loo to check for beasties before I sit down for a wee. I bet I'm not the only one who does that, either.

Alfred Hitchcock certainly capitalised on this sense of vulnerability when he set the first and most shocking murder in his horror masterpiece PSYCHO in a motel bathroom. Who could forget Janet Leigh showering away all unawares and the ominous shadow looming ever closer behind the shower curtain?

The events that followed made their way easily into cinematic history. In the starkness of that anonymous motel bathroom, there's nothing to distract the eye from the horror of the attack. That's how you do it. Alfred Hitchcock knew that perfectly well, which is why he's the legendary movie director and we're... well, we're the people who watch his legendary movies. Good to know where we all stand...!

I'm not suggesting for a moment that CURTAIN, which also centres around a bathroom, is somehow comparable to Alfred Hitchcock's PSYCHO. There haven't been many horror films made since 1960 that are fit to lick PSYCHO's metaphorical boots, haha. CURTAIN is an entertaining horror comedy nonetheless, which would be perfect for an evening when you just want to kick back and watch something nice and gory and undemanding.

The plot is as follows. The titular curtain refers to the shower curtains that a nice ordinary young woman called Danni keeps hanging in her bathroom. The reason she has to keep hanging new curtains is because, every time she hangs one, it's disappeared within a short period of time. Say whaaaaat? That's right. Her shower curtains keep disappearing...

Is there a shower curtain thief in the building she's just moved into? It doesn't seem likely, especially in view of the fact that the curtains are going missing while Danni's actually present in the apartment with the doors locked and bolted. And anyway, those cheap plastic curtains only cost a buck or two in any discount store, so who the hell would want to go to the trouble of swiping 'em? It doesn't make a lick of sense.

I'm not going to tell you what's actually happening to the curtains or where they're ending up, but I will tell you that Danni enlists the help of her friend and fellow chugger, Tim, to aid her in solving this little mystery. Danni's been working as a chugger since leaving her job as a nurse for reasons we're never too clear on.

It also seems like nursing is what she really wants to do so God only knows why she's tramping the streets of her hometown asking irritable strangers if they know what's happening to the whales of today. Some of 'em care. Most of 'em don't give a fiddler's f**k, if you'll excuse my French.

A chugger, for those of you who mightn't know, is what we in Ireland call those people who stop you in the street and ask you if you've got a minute for CONCERN, AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL, GOAL, TROCAIRE, GORTA, HELP THE HOMELESS, SAVE THE RAINFOREST or any other worthy and deserving charity you care to name.

Yep, you stand there at five in the evening with your frozen dinners melting in your shopping bag and your offspring kicking you in the leg while the chuggers brandish a clipboard at you and try to part you from your hard-earned dosh by guilting the shite out of you. 'Chugger' is a rather uncharitable mix of the words charity and mugger. Some folk seem to think it's pretty apt...

Tim is a great character. He's intensely passionate about saving the whales and he'll spare you no grim gory details of whale abuse when he stops you in the street. He'll even show you graphic drawings if he needs to. Anything to raise that awareness, haha.

Tim's more than a little sweet on Danni too, though he's much too shy to say so. He's more than happy to help Danni with The Mystery Of The Disappearing Shower Curtain (sounds like an old Enid Blyton novel!) and he's quite proactive, too, when it comes to following up the few meagre leads they've got.

Naturally, they meet a few weirdos along the way. Some kind of bizarre cult called THE GATE or THE GATEWAY seems to think that Danni's humble shower curtains are some of their business, so you just know that there's gonna be trouble brewing. Big, big trouble.

Some shit goes down, some blood gets spilled and the shocking ending will either confuse you or blow you away. I'm still undecided as to which camp I'm in, haha. Probably a little from Column A, a little from Column B...! 

Either way, this (probably) low-budget independent horror film is a good entertaining watch and you can definitely spare the eighty minutes out of your life to watch it. (Well, I don't mean to be presumptuous about how busy your life is or isn't but come on, eighty minutes, surely anyone can spare that...!)


Just to add that Danni's uncle and the janitor of Danni's apartment building are great characters too and I would have liked to see their roles developed a bit more. I suppose, though, that when you've only got eighty or so minutes to play with, you've got to make a few cuts in a few places.

CURTAIN is out on DVD this summer (July/August 2016) courtesy of FRIGHTFEST PRESENTS. Other great horror flicks due to be released by the same people include LAST GIRL STANDING, THE UNFOLDING, LANDMINE GOES CLICK and THE LESSON. You can get more details from www.frightfestpresents.com any time you've a mind to.

I'll keep you posted as soon as I watch and review the other films but, in the meantime, your assignment (should you choose to accept it!) is to watch CURTAIN. There's going to be a quiz, people, so make sure you do it. And if you watch all the others too as they come out, you can be assured of extra credit. Maybe even a few smiley face stickers. And as for any Teacher's Pets, well, those can come and see me after class...

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens' fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra's books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

 You can contact Sandra at:


http://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com








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