27 April 2018



'It's me, Iremar, the cologne guy...'

Oh wow. This film is so hot that, by rights, it should have steam coming off of it. And I wasn't even expecting to like a film about Brazilian rodeo, a subject I'd never in a million years dreamed could be interesting, never mind electrifying. This one's hotter than the hot Brazilian sun. Talk about scorchio...!

It's the story of a bunch of bull wranglers or handlers who travel with their bulls from rodeo to rodeo in modern times. Iremar is the main character, a drop-dead gorgeous Brazilian male, tall, dark and handsome and with an overwhelming desire to design womens' knickers, amongst other things. And he's not gay either, giving the lie to the myth that every male involved, or trying to be, in the fashion business has to be a flaming homosexual, lol.

Iremar is a big, sweaty, hairy macho male who loves women, but he's not a sleazebag or anything, just a normal horny guy who, when he's attracted to a beautiful woman, knows what to do with her. I completely fell for his character. He'd be my ideal guy, or one of them, anyway. The actor who plays him, Juliano Cazarre, is criminally good-looking.

Galega drives the truck with the bulls and the wranglers in it. She's a single mother in her thirties with a riot of blonde curly hair and an absent Baby-Daddy for her daughter Caca. Driving the rodeo truck seems like a strange job for a woman, but Galega is tough, probably because she's had to be. It must be hard being on the road all the time.

Caca is about ten or twelve and the relationship between mother and daughter is strained. Galega seems to be looking forward to the time that she can off-load Caca onto the child's grandmother, maybe because she can't cope with a precocious pre-teen girl whose burgeoning sexuality is going to be a big headache for her Momma in the years to come.

Caca is already learning to rebel against her mother, as all pre-teen girls learn to rebel. If Galega feels now that she's at her wits' end with the girl, she ain't seen nothing yet. Caca spends all her time with the bulls and the men, who together act unwittingly as some sort of father-substitute for the child.

It's not always the healthiest or most appropriate atmosphere for Caca, especially when she overhears the dirty sex-talk the men make no attempt to hide or reads the porn magazines they leave lying around the site.

Although the magazines, it must be said, have been somewhat sanitised by the creative Iremar, who has drawn fashionable knickers over the shaved you-know-whats. It's so funny when Ze, the owner of the porn, discovers his defaced treasures and has a go at Iremar.

Anyway, when Caca asks Iremar to 'give me a hug,' I was half-surprised that it turned out to be as innocent as it did. She's desperate for affection from males in the absence of her father, an absence she feels keenly, and when she's older and able to express herself sexually, she's going to look for love in all the wrong places.

Caca's mother also performs sexually explicit dances for the men who attend the late-night rodeo shows. While gyrating to the beat, her head is covered by a freaky-looking horse-mask and her body much less so by some of Iremar's designs. I love the character of Iremar, but the clothes he designs are well slutty and trashy. They're for strippers and hookers, lol, not classy lassies like myself.

Life on the road is hot and hard for the rodeo peeps. Their home is the site of any rodeo event they rock up at. They eat, drink, argue, shower and even make love out in the open. There's hardly any privacy and no fancy showering facilities. We see Iremar bathing with the other men out of a bucket and his magnificent, fully-frontally naked body is one of the star attractions of this already superb film.

There's this hilarious scene where Galega is actually waxing her fanny in the cab of the big bull truck, for the lack of a private bathroom to do it in. (For the benefit of my American readers, we here in Ireland don't mean 'butt' when we say 'fanny,' we mean p*ssy. That probably seems strange to you guys but it's true!) 

Her bare legs are brazenly either side of the steering wheel and she's whipping off the little sticky hair-covered strips when she's disturbed by Caca. It could have been anyone peering in that window, though. I guess that this is what's really meant by a Brazilian wax...

She's doing this in obvious expectation of having sex with Junior, the young good-looking guy drafted in to replace Ze when Ze gets a promotion of sorts. If I were Galega, I would have gone for the much manlier Iremar, but she opts for the younger man, a narcissist who spends hours on his long black hair and has cosmetic braces on his pearly-whites.

They have sex out in the open and, for Galena, it's clearly an itch that needs scratching urgently. Her child's father is God-knows-where and she's scratching (there's that word again!) a living together in the male-dominated world of rodeo. She needs to feel like a woman again for a while, not just a workhorse, excuse the rodeo-related pun.

There's quite a bit of black humour in this testosterone-loaded film. I like the cheeky wide boy selling cheap and trashy womens' knickers through car windows to any interested females. The scene where Iremar and Ze are masturbating the horse- that's right, you heard me!- and trying to procure his aristocratic semen for reasons of financial gain is very funny. Ever seen an erect horse willy? You will here...

The explicit sex scene between Iremar, 'the cologne guy,' and Geisy, the pregnant perfume saleswoman who also works nights doing security in a clothing factory, is just magical. To me, their every move is a right move.

Their love-making on the deserted factory floor in the dead of night is the sexiest, steamiest, most realistic-looking screen sex I've ever seen. Their joint movements are a poem, a ballet of synchronised thrust-and-parry with each one having an opposite and equal reaction of similar beauty and economy.

Given that you do actually see what looks suspiciously like Iremar's erect penis, I'm wondering if the horny pair are in fact really having sex in this scene. What else could account for such utter believability? I'm not even gonna sully this erotic-beyond-words scene by uttering the words 'reverse cowgirl...'

Incidentally, Geisy's being this randy at this advanced stage of her pregnancy is perfectly believable also. This randiness is a fact to which I can attest myself, having birthed two young 'uns in my time and craved non-stop nooky (an old-fashioned English word for sex!) virtually throughout both gestation periods. If my kids ever read this, they will disown me. Again...

It is a real fact of pregnancy, life and nature, though. Remember Rachel from FRIENDS and Phoebe's cardboard standee of Evander Holyfield the boxer...? Watch that episode (they devoted an entire episode to the subject!) and then tell me that expectant women don't get horny.

Anyway, full marks to the director for creating such an electrifying yet believable sex scene. You might think you've seen sexy sex scenes before in movies, and I'm sure you have, but I could nearly guarantee you that this scene is better.

Hotter. Steamier. More memorable. The whole film is infinitely memorable. I can't believe I wasn't keen to watch it at first. I must have been loco, seriously. It's steamier than a kettle full of, well, steam. And, when it comes to the boil, you'd better watch out, and it ain't 'cause Sandy Claws is coming to town...

NEON BULL is out now on Blu-Ray and DVD from SECOND RUN FILMS.


Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens' fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra's books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:


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