29 October 2017

STEPHEN KING'S 'CHRISTINE.' (1983) REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS.




CHRISTINE. (1983) BASED ON THE NOVEL BY STEPHEN KING. DIRECTED BY JOHN CARPENTER. STARRING KEITH GORDON, JOHN STOCKWELL, ALEXANDRA PAUL, ROBERT PROSKY, HARRY DEAN STANTON AND WILLIAM OSTRANDER.
REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

I always watch CHRISTINE whenever I watch THE THING because they're side-by-side on my shelf. They're two of John Carpenter's finest films, and the fact that CHRISTINE is based on a novel by Stephen King (he's called King for a reason, you know!) makes for pretty much an unbeatable combination. A Stephen King book filmed by John Carpenter? Hell yeah...!

I'm a huge fan of both horror artistes, and in fact I actually saw John Carpenter live in Dublin's Vicar Street venue last Halloween, where he was performing the music to some of his greatest movies. What, you've heard me tell this story before? Tough titties, haha. I ain't never gon' get tired of telling this particular story...!

Anyway, can you imagine the buzz when the first notes of HALLOWEEN filled the jam-packed hall? It was unforgettable. As one of the few females attending a gig crammed with giant beardy males all wearing horror T-shirts, I nearly got trampled to death in the crush to get close to the great man but it was totally worth it, haha.

I tried to read the book of CHRISTINE once but I gave up when the topic under discussion turned to cars. On page one, I think it was. Cars bore me to death. I feel about cars the way men feel about shoes and handbags and other feminine pursuits. I would get no sexual kick whatsoever out of restoring a wreck of a car to its so-called former glory, yawn.

Having watched the movie CHRISTINE a lot lately, however, and given how good it is, I think I'm ready to try the book again. Hopefully, there'll only be a little bit about cars in it at the beginning. I'm sure I can manage to get through that...

The titular CHRISTINE is a vintage American car- a 1958 Plymouth Fury, to be exact- with a mind of its own, and it's a nasty, fucked-up evil mind as well. In 1978, the car falls into the hands of local high-school nerd Arnie Cunningham, who falls in love with it the second he spies it rotting away in some mad auld fella's yard.

His parents are furious with him for wasting his time and money on the old banger, and even his best mate Dennis thinks he's a fool for buying it. But Arnie is already in too deep. He spends hours and hours lovingly restoring her- she's her from now on instead of it, you know what men are like about their precious jalopies!- at Darnell's junkyard, with the blessing of the cranky old Darnell, who senses and is impressed by Arnie's patience and commitment to the car.

A strange change comes over Arnie now that he's the proud owner of a sentient 1958 Plymouth Fury that might or might not be haunted by the ghost of its previous owner. Arnie ditches his nerd-specs and becomes cooler suddenly, a bit like a 'Fifties greaser, the kind that shopkeepers shoo away when they see 'em congregating outside the ice-cream parlour. 'Darn kids! Get yourselves away from here afore I get the law after ya!'

All of a sudden, Arnie Cunningham is dating Leigh Cabot, the hottest and hardest-to-get girl in the entire school. Perhaps the strangest thing of all is that no-one bullies Arnie Cunningham any more. His enemies, of which there are many, and even his friends, of whom there are much fewer, are all meeting with horrible accidents.

This includes the utterly odious Buddy Repperton, whom no-one in their right mind would confuse with a high-school student. Guy's a full-grown man, for crying out loud. Got sideburns and probably a wife and family as well. No way he's no kid no-how...!

Anyway, it's not long before the long arm of the law is starting to take an interest in Arnie and his beloved Christine who, buy the way, has the power to restore herself if she gets all bashed-up. Will Arnie and Christine's luck last, or will the little town of Rockbridge become too hot to hold 'em? The twisty ending will put a big fat cheesy grin on your face.

I must say that I can see the advantages of having an evil car take care of your enemies for you. I mean 'take care of' in the Mafia sense, of course. I myself have a good long enemies list
which would take me forever to 'take care of' myself. But an evil car to do my bidding, now that's something I can totally get on board with.

I'm not supposed to talk about my enemies list in public any more, by the way, not now that there's a court-case pending. Haha, I'm only kidding. There ain't no court-case. I always settle outta court, and me and Christine, we fixed those Harper boys good 'n proper. They'll think twice in future before they... I've said too much. Enjoy the film. It's a real classic...

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens' fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra's books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:


http://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com







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